Child with Autism Gaining Independence

My nonverbal son Matthew just finished his first full week of sixth grade at a Middle School. The prior week school officially started on Wednesday. The bus is here most mornings before 7 AM and gets him home before 4 PM. With Matthew it is not possible to try on clothes without actually wearing them that day. Since he has to now wear a uniform I was concerned with how he would tolerate wearing white polo shirts that are tight at the cuff on the arm and the buttons on the neck with the color. He has only worn a full button-down shirt once and that was on graduation day at Elementary School this past June. That outfit he wore was the same one Nicholas wore the year before at his Elementary School graduation. That outfit is ready to retire from the closet altogether.

Over the summer I had purchased three white shirts at Jiffy Shirts with great results as they arrived the following day. I also bought three shirts at www.walmart.com to have different options of shirts for Matthew. One was tagless and the other brand I cut out the tags.

The night before school as I had prepared clothes for the first day I decided to try a shirt on Matthew. He was pulling at the collar and not wanting me to do the bottom button. I had two navy blue shorts ready for the next morning. He has been wearing pants and shorts that have the string attached, which is his stim most often to play with the strings.

On the first day of school the shirt was successful but the shorts were another story. He was pulling them all the way up, reminding me of an old Jerry Lewis comedy movie. The two shorts were not working so I went into the laundry basket for the last pair of blue shorts, spritzed some Air Therapy Orange Spray on them to get a fresh smell and they seemed to work.

I have had a pair of his string shorts and loose tshirt on the bed waiting for him when he gets home. When Matthew and his assistant get off the bus I let Mattthew inside so I can hear about the schoolday from the aide. He is usually carrying Matthew's backpack and lunchbag. Sometimes Matthew comes back to the front door to get these bags and bring into the kitchen. A few times Matthew has only had on his shorts and the rest another shirt. His aide was even impressed with how fast Matthew was able to change his clothes.

This is a new skill for Matthew since in the morning he needs a diaper change and gets dressed with assistance from me. Two times my son Nicholas has had to help him get the shirt on. The pants and shirt have been on the correct way as well.

I come into the house to see Matthew getting a bowl out of the cabinet and putting pretzels into it. When he was at Elementary School I picked him up at his classroom everyday and had a baggie of Gluten Free Pretzels for him to eat on the way to the car and during the drive home. The first year I was bringing a video for Matthew to hold on the way home.

Matthew is able to take off chip clips but cannot put them back on. He will hand me the package and the clip to do it. He now likes Muenster cheese and will remove the baggie from the refrigerator when he gets home and let me know it needs to be opened.

He will also go into his backpack and retrieve his homework, proceeding to get a crayon and scribble a mess on the page before I can even try to hold his hand and help guide him.

I have even noticed Matthew now taking off his socks when there is either a hole in them or he has stepped in the water bowl for the cat. I just need to get him to toss them in garbage or laundry basket instead of the sock drawer. He will try on a few pairs until he finds one that fits.

I think the next step will be to show him how to empty his lunchbag and put ice bars back in freezer and remove the Rubber Maid Juice Box Containers so they can be rinsed out.

The feedback from the assistant and the communication checklist from the teacher is that Matthew is running 4-7 laps in Adaptive PE and enjoying Horticulture. You can tell that by looking at his hands and sneakers when he gets home. He really likes pulling weeds. These are the two classes that his MRS (Mental Retardation Severe) class is included with general education.

Here is an article I wrote on the issues we are having with LAUSD.

Halloween Experiences for those on the Autism Spectrum

Halloween is just around the corner. Stores have had costumes stocked for a few weeks now. With school back in session students will be discussing which characters they will be wearing as a costume or if you are The Sewing Mom you are making costumes.

I have one article on my site for Halloween, which I did three years ago. I want to have more options available for readers to gain insights into the Halloween Experience for the child on the autism spectrum.

My 12 and 13 year old do not participate in Halloween. Their Elementary Schools had parades. I would pick up Matthew early and he would wear regular clothes to school. Now that he is in Middle School I am not sure what the procedure is for this Holiday in terms of wearing the uniform to school or allowing a costume. Nicholas is homeschooled with California Virtual Academy so he will be home.

I am looking for input from families that have had past experiences with their child on the autism spectrum by wearing a costume to school, participating in a party at class or elsewhere, and also those that have parties in their home and take their kids out for trick or treating.

If you have blogged about it and interested in sharing your link please post it in the comments. If you want to create a blog post please let me know your website address so I can follow when it gets posted. If you are planning already for this year you can also comment here about the preparations and let me know if this is something I can include in my article.

As an example I can just say that a Mom in NY to a 4 year old boy did this and that. If you want me to link to your blog please indicate that as well. I would like to have an article helping new families gain insights from other families on what type of costumes kids can handle, how long they last outside doing the visiting of homes, what about barking dogs, diet issues for treats and parties and sensory issues with the costumes and makeup, etc. If there is a certain book, CD or DVD you have used to help prepare for Halloween, please share. I have reviewed a few Winnie the Pooh ones and curious to know if any exist specifically for those on the autism spectrum.

I am looking forward to hearing from other autism families on their experiences sine we just bypass the Holiday and wait for November to show up. If you have any recipes or blog post on gluten casein free treats please share those here.

Housing Options for Autism Families

I enjoy watching House Hunters on HGTV, which airs nightly at 10 PM. Sometimes my 13 year old son Nicholas catches the show as well. We have dreams of moving out of this duplex house we have now rented for over ten years. I regularly peruse Cragislist, Westside Rentals and Mobile Home Village to check new listings.

We cannot live in an apartment or condo. That would mean four neighbors to deal with and having to endure listening to Matthew running across the rooms, banging walls and screaming. Amenities like pool, fireplace, deck, patio and french doors would have to be avoided.

I need to have parking, tired of the street hassles for a space near the house. An on-site laundry room or at least a hook-up would be necessary. Trying to deal with laundry during school holiday times and vacations are not easy. Due to my skin issues with my severe eczema it is essential that I get a dishwasher. Also the bathroom must have a window and fan vent. This will help when giving Matthew baths and starting the toilet training.

We also need a fenced yard and preferably central air conditioning. For many years now I have paid a rental fee to my landlord for the stove and refrigerator, probably paying for appliances two times during this period. I would like a shower that has the sliding door and a garbage disposal for the kitchen sink.

The neighbors next door have their grown sons living theere for many years. It is like a pot festival coming through my windows. Today when the bus arrived my front yard was a stench bucket from them. Earlier in the day our kitchen had smells from the other neighbor. My son Nicholas had problems with his eyes and throat.

I am tired of living at this dump, but there are not many options for us. I also want to try to buy a mobile home by the time I am 50, which is under two years. It is a long term goal that most likely will not get met, but a dream nonetheless.

Nicholas has a dream of living in his own apartment with his cat Junior and another companion animal. He wants to drive a truck and not get married or have kids. I am trying to teach him about finances and what a struggle it is to pay bills and have anything left over.

It would be nice someday to share a house with another autism family and have the street or community consist of families with kids who have special needs. Safety for everyone and living where neighbors know what your life is like and can offer support in many ways.

The To Do List Begins

My nonverbal son Matthew starts school tomorrow. Once he graduated Elementary School in June there was six weeks of summer day camp. After that commenced we had almost four weeks of down time at home.

While autism camp was in session I was able to do laundry and grocery shopping, but during this break Matthew had to accompany me everywhere I went. Several times this meant enduring an attack from behind if I took too long making a choice in an aisle. Waiting too long at the Pharmacy Counter produced similar results. Errands worked best if we went directly to the coloring book section so he could pick one out. But then he wanted to get home so he could color.

I have now compiled my To Do list of errands and things I can do that will go smoother and faster.

Get the car washed
Go to laundromat
Grocery Shopping
Take Nicholas for a haircut
Clothes Shopping
Go to the library
Take Nicholas Bowling
See a Movie with Nicholas
Visit the Zoo with Nicholas
Take Nicholas to Community Day
Paint over the fingerprints on the walls
Take Nick to Dentist for fillings/root canal
Find an Ortho for consult for Nick - needs braces
Find an Eye Dr for me - need exam, new glasses, no vision Ins
Follow up with Dentist for me - need new Dentures, no dental Ins
Take the cat to Vet - flea bath, trim nails
Get back to 24 hour fitness for daily workouts
Start swim lessons for Nicholas
Practice riding a bike - in neighbor's driveway with their bike
Take Nicholas to get hearing and vision test



At home we will no longer have to walk around the kitchen holding our food and plates away from his fingers. Glasses of milk will no longer get dipped by his fingers. The ice cream container will not get squeezed. I will not have to trip over the vacuum cord because he is playing with it while I try to maneuver it away from his grip.

I might not have to lock the bathroom door or see his feet under the door way banging on the door. My face will not be mashed against his while I sit at the computer. Constant running through the hallway and banging the walls will not occur constantly. I am sure there is more that I will be aware of tomorrow and as the quiet days arrive.

I hope to get a lot accomplished during the day so that I can attend to his needs once he gets off the bus. Transitions for the whole family - earlier dinner time and sooner to bed for everyone.

Cheers to a new day.