Sunday, November 22, 2009

Explaining Birth Son to teen with autism

There is a new show on ABC entitled, Find My Family. This is from the producers of Extreme Makeover: Home Edition.

Today, November 22, 2009 is the day I gave birth back in 1978 to a son that I gave up for adoption through Catholic Charities in Newark, NJ. When I saw the commercial for the new show I did a google search, which led me to an email address for those who are interested in being on the show to contact. I did that and have yet to get a response.

So far this is okay with me as I have yet to inform my oldest son about my first born son. I wrote a Birth Mother's Open Letter back in 2000 when I had two toddlers on the autism spectrum. They are now teens, but Matthew would not really grasp the story.

The other day the commercial was on when Nick and I were watching TV and he told me it looked good and mentioned the bit about it being from same producers of the other show that we have watched over the years - although he mostly tuned in for the autism family stories/makeovers.

I am located in Los Angeles and noticed Lisa Joyner is one of the hosts and she was in Los Angeles news at Fox for many year so I think this is the home base of the show. I mentioned in my email that I have two teens on the autism spectrum and from NJ where I gave up son. I discussed wondering if he has any kids and if autism is in my genes and should he be notified of this. I forgot to note in my email that I turn 50 in April.

I almost started to tell Nick about my first born son but not sure what he will comprehend. I had an opportunity to write a letter and put in his file before he turned 18, just in case he had access to it or contacted Catholic Charities, but at that time I had received autism diagnosis and could not spend the time or money on a search.

I keep the information I have on Catholic Charities in my earthquake kit also.


Squid said...

Bonnie, I wish you luck on both journeys, in the finding and the telling. I told my oldest daughter about my birth son when she was six, and while I don't regret it, she spent the next few months telling strangers and friends about her "older brother" in casual conversation, because she thought it was fascinating, she tends to perseverate, and I did not set stigmatizing limits on the topic. An FYI.

Mrs. C said...

I wonder if your birth son is autistic as well! Wouldn't that make an interesting show? :]

I wish you all the best in your searches and your discussions. Thank you for choosing LIFE for your child.

Crystal said...

Very interesting. I agree with Mrs. C, adoption is a beautiful did the right thing. :)

Cioara Andrei said...
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Emma @ Turning Winds said...

I can't imagine how hard it is to be holding back secrets from your present family. Although I admire you for having to choose adoption over abortion despite whatever difficulties you have encountered in the past.
I pray that you'll be able to sustain your family's love and respect when you you finally find the courage to tell them. I hope your birth son will be happy to see you too. Godbless!

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